okay, i am ultra uber pissed at this day so be patient with me. tonite, i am supposed to be at gay cabarret (yes it's exactly what it sounds like) with dear old friends from college, who might i add are in from houston, but after checking the bank books, i've found that those two extra unplanned trips to o-town at $76 per tank have pretty much bankrupted me. so not only am i missing that, but i missed huny on his way out so i can't hitch a ride to watch him race. AND there's no food in the house so i am reduced to eating a tomato sammich-which normally i would relish and crave, but tonite just seems like poor folks' food. this is my last kid-free nite (the spawn have been with the grandparents for almost a month) and i really expected that i would finish off my mini-vaca with a bit more of a bang. frizzle.
but, this kind of goes with everything that has happened this week. last nite, huny and i went to planet of the apes-great flick, worth theatre money. funny thing is, our town had some little lightening strikes last nite that surged power in the theatre...forcing the movie to stop on five separate occasions. now i'm patient (snicker) so we sat as it took fifteen minutes each time to restart it...especially since they promised us free passes at the end. well worth it as i had no where else to be, because prior to that, our race got rained out...after huny had taken the car out and gotten all prepped up.
right now, i'm debating cleaning the basement and dealing with the laundry because my house is starting to look like an episode of hoarders. i'm sure the kids (and my mom) think that i've spent their entire period of absence cleaning and being a domestic slave. fat chance...i leave this poo til the last minute possible and speed wash the entire house. i'm thinking of covering it all in linoleum so that i can just hose it off five minutes before everyone gets home. as you can tell, that may be necessary, as i've managed to find something else to do instead of the chores at hand. :)
so, i'm desparately trying to be bloggerific and am coming up with some creative reading so i don't bore all of us to death, and so that my kids come home to dirty skivies...
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
birrrrrrrfday caaaaaaake!
i turned the big 4-0 this year! and unbelievably, i am perfectly fine with this. lots of my friends have completely gone of the deep end with the age panic. i, however, think i am better than i've ever been...like wine. no, not fruity and pungent, but better with age!
so, i decided to have this big party. huny at first was trying to plan a surprise party, but since he couldn't get the help he needed from my friends, he let it slip one nite and i took over. it caused a bit of stink in fact, which, to make another long story short, ended in me screaming "I WANT TO WEAR A PINK TUTU AND A TIARA!!!". (i did. want to. and did wear those two things for my party...but that's another story that revolves around my bedroom looking like a glitter faerie puked all over the place, or that we'd had a whole lotta strippers staying with us). we billed it as "beck's fantabulous fortieth pink party!!!". yeah, you guessed it...everything pink, including the guests. and food.
never again.
i thought i would try my hand at red velvet cake balls. heck my kids made them with the nanny and they were fantastic. my friend h. marie knocks them out like nobody's business, so with bakerella instructions, i set off to make three hundred pristine little pink confections. have i mentioned sometimes my ocd is more noticable than others? i'm thinking this would come in handy for an occassion such as this, like when i clean the station at work. everybody at work laughs, but we all know it's the best way to get good results.
i followed the directions and was at the ball dipping stage. the first i did with a spoon and it was a work of art. placed it in the center of the platter and went to balls, two, three and four, making a tight and tidy little circle inside to out. pretty pretty pretty.
ball five slipped off the spoon and got a dent in the side, so i fished it out of the almond bark and set it on a tea cup plate, where my rejects were to go. ball six must not have been rolled quite right, as it left a smal glob of cake in the bark. by this time the bark was hardening so i reheated it in the microwave, like the recipe said to. but forgot to remove the cake particles. and didn't notice...
let me spare you the agony of what ensued and just say this: i had intended to have these perfectly round, pink-tinged, smooth cake balls to drizzle hot pink squiggies on. and my guests would oh and ahh and delight in the perfection that were my cake balls.
not even close to reality.
i had cake wads. cake lugees. i had cake globs that were covered in almond bark AND funky little pink lumps that came from other cake balls, which apparently were attempting to sow their seeds in the melted bark. i would never imagined from the "simple" instructions and "appealing" pictures that i would have cake balls that looked like bloody eyeballs on a platter. this was not a birthday treat...this was a halloween freak show. after 60 cake plops (yes, this is what they were evetually dubbed), i gave up. i hid them in the basement fridge, and went to the store for angel food cake. THAT i know i can make. soon my kitchen was aglow with hot pink angel food (okay, one i bumped and it deflated, causing uproarious giggles from my children, who were immediately shot the stink eye and fled the baking disaster area), and the task was done. the color from the cakes made my kitchen look like a tim burton movie-and i thought it was beautiful. (And my bff jiffer was making a raspberry almond creme cake as part of my gift, so i knew i was safe. that and the 18 bottles of wine i bought for our guests). and i saved the day.
until one of my guests asked about the cake plops. and SOMEONE snuck them out of the fridge and laid them in the middle of the snack table. hideous and looking a bit like melted bird poop, they stuck to the platter...and then were consumed like a hot commodity. ugly as the back end of a cat, but dubbed the most dellicious snack at the party.
oh, and i ROCKED that tutu :)
so, i decided to have this big party. huny at first was trying to plan a surprise party, but since he couldn't get the help he needed from my friends, he let it slip one nite and i took over. it caused a bit of stink in fact, which, to make another long story short, ended in me screaming "I WANT TO WEAR A PINK TUTU AND A TIARA!!!". (i did. want to. and did wear those two things for my party...but that's another story that revolves around my bedroom looking like a glitter faerie puked all over the place, or that we'd had a whole lotta strippers staying with us). we billed it as "beck's fantabulous fortieth pink party!!!". yeah, you guessed it...everything pink, including the guests. and food.
never again.
i thought i would try my hand at red velvet cake balls. heck my kids made them with the nanny and they were fantastic. my friend h. marie knocks them out like nobody's business, so with bakerella instructions, i set off to make three hundred pristine little pink confections. have i mentioned sometimes my ocd is more noticable than others? i'm thinking this would come in handy for an occassion such as this, like when i clean the station at work. everybody at work laughs, but we all know it's the best way to get good results.
i followed the directions and was at the ball dipping stage. the first i did with a spoon and it was a work of art. placed it in the center of the platter and went to balls, two, three and four, making a tight and tidy little circle inside to out. pretty pretty pretty.
ball five slipped off the spoon and got a dent in the side, so i fished it out of the almond bark and set it on a tea cup plate, where my rejects were to go. ball six must not have been rolled quite right, as it left a smal glob of cake in the bark. by this time the bark was hardening so i reheated it in the microwave, like the recipe said to. but forgot to remove the cake particles. and didn't notice...
let me spare you the agony of what ensued and just say this: i had intended to have these perfectly round, pink-tinged, smooth cake balls to drizzle hot pink squiggies on. and my guests would oh and ahh and delight in the perfection that were my cake balls.
not even close to reality.
i had cake wads. cake lugees. i had cake globs that were covered in almond bark AND funky little pink lumps that came from other cake balls, which apparently were attempting to sow their seeds in the melted bark. i would never imagined from the "simple" instructions and "appealing" pictures that i would have cake balls that looked like bloody eyeballs on a platter. this was not a birthday treat...this was a halloween freak show. after 60 cake plops (yes, this is what they were evetually dubbed), i gave up. i hid them in the basement fridge, and went to the store for angel food cake. THAT i know i can make. soon my kitchen was aglow with hot pink angel food (okay, one i bumped and it deflated, causing uproarious giggles from my children, who were immediately shot the stink eye and fled the baking disaster area), and the task was done. the color from the cakes made my kitchen look like a tim burton movie-and i thought it was beautiful. (And my bff jiffer was making a raspberry almond creme cake as part of my gift, so i knew i was safe. that and the 18 bottles of wine i bought for our guests). and i saved the day.
until one of my guests asked about the cake plops. and SOMEONE snuck them out of the fridge and laid them in the middle of the snack table. hideous and looking a bit like melted bird poop, they stuck to the platter...and then were consumed like a hot commodity. ugly as the back end of a cat, but dubbed the most dellicious snack at the party.
oh, and i ROCKED that tutu :)
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
an explanation...not an appology
okay, so i've been beyond lackadaisical in my blogging efforts. i was so gung ho in the beginning, and i have these absolutely hilariously amazing stories, but life has somewhat gotten in the way. bailey is doing better...not great but better. she has gone from critical hyperthyroid to critical hypo, so we've had a meds switch. we're not far enough in to tell a difference yet, blood work in a couple weeks to see what's going on. plus she started a new "hold the bottom up" med, also in the beginning stages.
dom is dom...cruising along being a little loopie (the other day he skippity do da-ed out to the kitchen and said "why does johnny depp always walk like this? it IS fun thou!!!").
i've been sitting here blogging for forty minutes and my stories just aren't flowing. my mind is simply elsewhere. my biggest distraction has been the utterly destructive chaos that huny's exwife brings into our lives. my gawd, i have never met someone who thrives on negative energy as much as she does. now i know you're used to reading about the antics that ensue with a problematic healthed child, and just raising children and LIVING, but i have to vent or i swear to the stars i am going to go completely ballistic on this idiotic brillo toad, which would be good for no one at all.
anyone that knows me is very aware that i have a temper, but that it takes more than a lot to shake me into infuriation (for pete's sake look at the way i deal with my loser exhusband. i haven't even attempted to have him wiped from the face of the earth, so you know i've got it under control), but this woman this excruciatingly lunatic!!! now, i won't say that i haven't completely blown up over this several times, because that would be FIBBING. i have ranted and raved (and just accidentally put a post on facebook that i was putting on here...whoopsie doodles), but overall i have kept it under control, and even burst into laughter over it (the laughter of the insane...the other night, in what was most certainly a drunken stupor, she text to huny "i'm not your bitch, she is"...oh little girl...i'm not his bitch, i'm THE bitch). but here, dear reader, is what has kept me from entertaining you the last month or so, and she will therein be referred to as "it", to keep me from verbal perversions. i'll admit, there's humor in this...it's just of the mean girl variety...so brace up...
1.) about two months ago, i received a letter from the nebraska department of roads. i opened it immediately-i take state matters seriously. now, i'll admit i knew that it worked there, but i never dreamed this contact was from it. the three-paged letter inside rambled (with both inadequate grammar and an atrocity of misspellings) on about derogatorily about what a huge piece of crap huny is, and a bad father who never sees his child (ummmm...who is at our house four days one week and two the alternating, as well as any extra time huny can wrangle) and how it "implored to the mother in me" (you silly bitch, i AM a mother, it's not just a piece of me) to protect myself. now, aside from the fact that i've been next to huny when it's obscene, screaming voice has come through the phone, and been present for the numerous times she's used her child as leverage...or geesh, you get the idea...it wasn't just the content of the letter. for all my fire, for all my brimstone, i am a firm believer in "the system". people who are good and just, follow the rules and play by the book prevail. so, with that in mind, and the fact that i originally majored in psych/prelaw, looked at it from this aspect...this 'woman', who had computer access to the department of motor vehicles information thru her employment, obtained my address and violated my right to privacy, used a state envelope to disguise it's communication, and used the postage meter at it's place of employment to send said letter...which, albeit small, is FRAUD. so, being the law-abiding citizen i am, i reported it to the nebraska state department of roads human resources department. awwwww...you lost your job? and it's my fault? no you daft cow, you violated your place of employment's contract (using those records for personal gain is a felony, so you're lucky you're not in jail). it takes a lot to push me to the brink, but if you do, i will come at you hard, fast and with execution-style deliberation.
2.) about a year and a half ago, in a legal proceeding, huny requested back some personal affects. for those of you that don't know, huny used to work NASCAR-yes, the cars that drive consistently left-and he had amassed many one of a kind artifacts, autographs and whatnot. when he requested these, the ex told a judge that they had been stolen. the judge asked that it produce a police report, which it could not as it said it never filed one. well how unfortunate. sounds much like a story it once told about a ring being stolen, which amazingly, it was wearing in a picture taken last month. shocking! the theives must have suffered a stroke of conscious morality and returned your item of value.
a couple weeks ago it came to our attention that it was having a "huge sale" (yes, it actually text this to huny, also stating that it had his baby albums and he could get them once the HUGE SALE was over, which have never been produced). sure 'nuf, some dumbass posted on craig's list this HUGE SALE..listing that there were "many pit crew memorabilia" and one of a kind items...with it's home address listed. fucking duh. so, i simply sent a dear friend (if you're reading this, bless your heart for the help) over to buy these items. now, i'm completely pissed that huny had to pay to get these items back, and hopefully some of that money will be spent on his child and not totally on cigarettes and pork rinds, but these are back in huny's possession and that means more than anything. the lithographs are now hanging in our house...another victory as they had never been allowed to hang before.
3.) on mother's day, huny's daughter wanted to get something for it. now, the two things above are NOTHING compared to what she's done to him, so understandably, the thought of getting a nicety for her churns his stomach. seeing as NO ONE has ever offered to do this courtesy for my children (and seriously, i'm never going to take them to spend my own money on me), i thought i'd offer to take her and do it. we got it a card and a bouquet of flowers, which the child delivered when we returned her to it. it never said thank you, but did eventually text "i want more than flowers from that bitch for making me lose my job. i want an apology". why you disgusting, uncouth, ingratiated c-word (no matter how i feel, i can't even bring myself to type it)...how DARE you assume i would EVER apologize for the abuse that you have inflicted upon me. i did it for your child, so that she could feel special and important in your eyes and i am sickened by your extremely misguided thought that this was about me. the pleasantries are over and while i will do everything your child requires to avoid the past that mine have, don't make the mistake of thinking that i won't give you you enough rope to watch you hang yourself, and tighten the proverbial noose given the opportunity.
whew. not much, but boy that feels good. back to giggles and glitter and butterflies. oh and look vinnie...i wiped!!!
dom is dom...cruising along being a little loopie (the other day he skippity do da-ed out to the kitchen and said "why does johnny depp always walk like this? it IS fun thou!!!").
i've been sitting here blogging for forty minutes and my stories just aren't flowing. my mind is simply elsewhere. my biggest distraction has been the utterly destructive chaos that huny's exwife brings into our lives. my gawd, i have never met someone who thrives on negative energy as much as she does. now i know you're used to reading about the antics that ensue with a problematic healthed child, and just raising children and LIVING, but i have to vent or i swear to the stars i am going to go completely ballistic on this idiotic brillo toad, which would be good for no one at all.
anyone that knows me is very aware that i have a temper, but that it takes more than a lot to shake me into infuriation (for pete's sake look at the way i deal with my loser exhusband. i haven't even attempted to have him wiped from the face of the earth, so you know i've got it under control), but this woman this excruciatingly lunatic!!! now, i won't say that i haven't completely blown up over this several times, because that would be FIBBING. i have ranted and raved (and just accidentally put a post on facebook that i was putting on here...whoopsie doodles), but overall i have kept it under control, and even burst into laughter over it (the laughter of the insane...the other night, in what was most certainly a drunken stupor, she text to huny "i'm not your bitch, she is"...oh little girl...i'm not his bitch, i'm THE bitch). but here, dear reader, is what has kept me from entertaining you the last month or so, and she will therein be referred to as "it", to keep me from verbal perversions. i'll admit, there's humor in this...it's just of the mean girl variety...so brace up...
1.) about two months ago, i received a letter from the nebraska department of roads. i opened it immediately-i take state matters seriously. now, i'll admit i knew that it worked there, but i never dreamed this contact was from it. the three-paged letter inside rambled (with both inadequate grammar and an atrocity of misspellings) on about derogatorily about what a huge piece of crap huny is, and a bad father who never sees his child (ummmm...who is at our house four days one week and two the alternating, as well as any extra time huny can wrangle) and how it "implored to the mother in me" (you silly bitch, i AM a mother, it's not just a piece of me) to protect myself. now, aside from the fact that i've been next to huny when it's obscene, screaming voice has come through the phone, and been present for the numerous times she's used her child as leverage...or geesh, you get the idea...it wasn't just the content of the letter. for all my fire, for all my brimstone, i am a firm believer in "the system". people who are good and just, follow the rules and play by the book prevail. so, with that in mind, and the fact that i originally majored in psych/prelaw, looked at it from this aspect...this 'woman', who had computer access to the department of motor vehicles information thru her employment, obtained my address and violated my right to privacy, used a state envelope to disguise it's communication, and used the postage meter at it's place of employment to send said letter...which, albeit small, is FRAUD. so, being the law-abiding citizen i am, i reported it to the nebraska state department of roads human resources department. awwwww...you lost your job? and it's my fault? no you daft cow, you violated your place of employment's contract (using those records for personal gain is a felony, so you're lucky you're not in jail). it takes a lot to push me to the brink, but if you do, i will come at you hard, fast and with execution-style deliberation.
2.) about a year and a half ago, in a legal proceeding, huny requested back some personal affects. for those of you that don't know, huny used to work NASCAR-yes, the cars that drive consistently left-and he had amassed many one of a kind artifacts, autographs and whatnot. when he requested these, the ex told a judge that they had been stolen. the judge asked that it produce a police report, which it could not as it said it never filed one. well how unfortunate. sounds much like a story it once told about a ring being stolen, which amazingly, it was wearing in a picture taken last month. shocking! the theives must have suffered a stroke of conscious morality and returned your item of value.
a couple weeks ago it came to our attention that it was having a "huge sale" (yes, it actually text this to huny, also stating that it had his baby albums and he could get them once the HUGE SALE was over, which have never been produced). sure 'nuf, some dumbass posted on craig's list this HUGE SALE..listing that there were "many pit crew memorabilia" and one of a kind items...with it's home address listed. fucking duh. so, i simply sent a dear friend (if you're reading this, bless your heart for the help) over to buy these items. now, i'm completely pissed that huny had to pay to get these items back, and hopefully some of that money will be spent on his child and not totally on cigarettes and pork rinds, but these are back in huny's possession and that means more than anything. the lithographs are now hanging in our house...another victory as they had never been allowed to hang before.
3.) on mother's day, huny's daughter wanted to get something for it. now, the two things above are NOTHING compared to what she's done to him, so understandably, the thought of getting a nicety for her churns his stomach. seeing as NO ONE has ever offered to do this courtesy for my children (and seriously, i'm never going to take them to spend my own money on me), i thought i'd offer to take her and do it. we got it a card and a bouquet of flowers, which the child delivered when we returned her to it. it never said thank you, but did eventually text "i want more than flowers from that bitch for making me lose my job. i want an apology". why you disgusting, uncouth, ingratiated c-word (no matter how i feel, i can't even bring myself to type it)...how DARE you assume i would EVER apologize for the abuse that you have inflicted upon me. i did it for your child, so that she could feel special and important in your eyes and i am sickened by your extremely misguided thought that this was about me. the pleasantries are over and while i will do everything your child requires to avoid the past that mine have, don't make the mistake of thinking that i won't give you you enough rope to watch you hang yourself, and tighten the proverbial noose given the opportunity.
whew. not much, but boy that feels good. back to giggles and glitter and butterflies. oh and look vinnie...i wiped!!!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
the white bill cosby
you wonder where i get it from? i have been surrounded with humor all my life. i have the same quirky, dry wit that my father does, which i inheritted from his father as well (i loved my poppa jack dearly, he was the source of much of my childhood happiness, and a fantastic partner in crime). so really, the stuff that pops out of my mouth most days should not come as any surprise to my family, or those in close contact with me during my raising.
my dad LUVS bill cosby and i swear he was trying to be the man's pasty counterpart. i can not tell you how many times he would quip him, or come up with stuff i swear mister jello pudding pop himself would have been proud to quote. so i grew up with cosby-wisdom...never really expecting a straight answer. for example...
when i took off for college three hours from home, i, of course, still called my dad with every little problem, especially when it had to do with my pony. while i was perfectly capable of basic care, there where still things about her that mistified me.
one weekend i called him about a "funny thing" the steering wheel was doing. the car felt loose and just wasn't right. i spent a good five minutes explaining to him what it had been doing, and then another telling him how genuinely concerned i was about my well-being driving her, as well as her health and well-being as a functioning automobile. my dad listen patiently, inserting the proper "uh-huh" as warranted. i was truly distraught that penny (named for her two-tone copper body) might be failing me, and i was going to explain it thoroughly so that jerry would understand and perhaps even FEEL the steering issue, regardless of our 150 mile gap.
"so whaddaya think?" i questioned when i felt i had spilled out every detail. dad thought deeply, i could tell by the "hmmmmmmm" noise he made before answering. "well beck, it sounds like it's the nut behind the wheel." "oh really?" i said, "well what do we...HEY!!!" :)
my dad LUVS bill cosby and i swear he was trying to be the man's pasty counterpart. i can not tell you how many times he would quip him, or come up with stuff i swear mister jello pudding pop himself would have been proud to quote. so i grew up with cosby-wisdom...never really expecting a straight answer. for example...
when i took off for college three hours from home, i, of course, still called my dad with every little problem, especially when it had to do with my pony. while i was perfectly capable of basic care, there where still things about her that mistified me.
one weekend i called him about a "funny thing" the steering wheel was doing. the car felt loose and just wasn't right. i spent a good five minutes explaining to him what it had been doing, and then another telling him how genuinely concerned i was about my well-being driving her, as well as her health and well-being as a functioning automobile. my dad listen patiently, inserting the proper "uh-huh" as warranted. i was truly distraught that penny (named for her two-tone copper body) might be failing me, and i was going to explain it thoroughly so that jerry would understand and perhaps even FEEL the steering issue, regardless of our 150 mile gap.
"so whaddaya think?" i questioned when i felt i had spilled out every detail. dad thought deeply, i could tell by the "hmmmmmmm" noise he made before answering. "well beck, it sounds like it's the nut behind the wheel." "oh really?" i said, "well what do we...HEY!!!" :)
Monday, May 9, 2011
how was my day?!?
one of my friends on facebook was giving me crap about not blogging in eons (guilty), and then, after obviously reading my numberous statuses (IE: illtemperedandsuperpissedoffsoleavemethefuckalone) asks "how was your day?"...
you're kidding me right?!? now, those who don't know me, wouldn't know that mondays are one of my busiest days. it's a shitstorm to say the least, and that's if nothing goes wrong. but if you do know me, and this fair amgio does, you know that if i say 'go away, i bite", i damn well mean it, especially the biting part.
so, you giant poopstick, i am blogging...and telling you how my day went.
granted, i am crabtastic because nothing, NOTHING, seems to be feng shui lately. both huny and i have been bitten by the can't afford a vacation bug, so we are both pissy and on edge, and being on edge makes both of us more on edge. these days i don't even breathe right, and he is making me bonkers with the insentive crap that rolls out of his mouth. it's like i don't even recognize us. now fortunately, i've been really good at biting my tongue...not so good at keeping the disgusted looks off my face. we're both stubborn as hell so you can see where this is getting us.
aside from that, miss is not getting anywhere with the endocrinologist-we were back two weeks ago and were supposed to have results by the middle of last week. i've called twice and can't seem to get a call back. so we all know who's going to make one more polite call then go completely apeshit. AND she's been more than a bit of a rag with her teenangst, and i'm pretty much tired of that.
finally, the boy hasn't listened worth a crap for almost a month and i'm ready to pummel him...and it's worse cuz he looks more like the demon groom every day, so when he twists his face up in that smirk, i want to put a sack over it. on top of it, he got injured at soccer sunday...full-force toe kick to the neck, and now we're going to run up some more doc bills making sure his head isn't going to fall off.
so when you ask me how may day went, even if you mean it in casual conversation, it's likely your'e going to get an earful. so, let me tell you...
as i sit in my car, the outside temperature ninetyfreakinfive degrees on a soccer field with no damn shade, i have not showered from work. this is relevant because, dear reader, as i went to cram the garbage down in a can so my doc could drop crud into it, a large cloud of dead skin poofed into my face and hair. thank gawd i had my mouth shut or i would have inhaled all that (working wound care has taught me to keep the trap closed during debridements), unfortunately, i had just applied fresh gloss, so about a fifth of that stuck to my lips. ACK ACK ACK!!! as quickly as i could leave the room (read oh fucking hell i was stuck there for another maybe five minutes, tears welling up as i stiffled back the spew), i ran to the station sink and splashed water on my face and towelled off. then turned to the mirror to discover debridement dandruff in my hair, like tiny flesh snowflakes. (can you see me making the bullfrog noise here? cuz it happened. in fact it's happening again right now).
THAT is how my day went...and that's only about ten minutes of it.
you're kidding me right?!? now, those who don't know me, wouldn't know that mondays are one of my busiest days. it's a shitstorm to say the least, and that's if nothing goes wrong. but if you do know me, and this fair amgio does, you know that if i say 'go away, i bite", i damn well mean it, especially the biting part.
so, you giant poopstick, i am blogging...and telling you how my day went.
granted, i am crabtastic because nothing, NOTHING, seems to be feng shui lately. both huny and i have been bitten by the can't afford a vacation bug, so we are both pissy and on edge, and being on edge makes both of us more on edge. these days i don't even breathe right, and he is making me bonkers with the insentive crap that rolls out of his mouth. it's like i don't even recognize us. now fortunately, i've been really good at biting my tongue...not so good at keeping the disgusted looks off my face. we're both stubborn as hell so you can see where this is getting us.
aside from that, miss is not getting anywhere with the endocrinologist-we were back two weeks ago and were supposed to have results by the middle of last week. i've called twice and can't seem to get a call back. so we all know who's going to make one more polite call then go completely apeshit. AND she's been more than a bit of a rag with her teenangst, and i'm pretty much tired of that.
finally, the boy hasn't listened worth a crap for almost a month and i'm ready to pummel him...and it's worse cuz he looks more like the demon groom every day, so when he twists his face up in that smirk, i want to put a sack over it. on top of it, he got injured at soccer sunday...full-force toe kick to the neck, and now we're going to run up some more doc bills making sure his head isn't going to fall off.
so when you ask me how may day went, even if you mean it in casual conversation, it's likely your'e going to get an earful. so, let me tell you...
as i sit in my car, the outside temperature ninetyfreakinfive degrees on a soccer field with no damn shade, i have not showered from work. this is relevant because, dear reader, as i went to cram the garbage down in a can so my doc could drop crud into it, a large cloud of dead skin poofed into my face and hair. thank gawd i had my mouth shut or i would have inhaled all that (working wound care has taught me to keep the trap closed during debridements), unfortunately, i had just applied fresh gloss, so about a fifth of that stuck to my lips. ACK ACK ACK!!! as quickly as i could leave the room (read oh fucking hell i was stuck there for another maybe five minutes, tears welling up as i stiffled back the spew), i ran to the station sink and splashed water on my face and towelled off. then turned to the mirror to discover debridement dandruff in my hair, like tiny flesh snowflakes. (can you see me making the bullfrog noise here? cuz it happened. in fact it's happening again right now).
THAT is how my day went...and that's only about ten minutes of it.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
potty training
needless to say, dominic has had a little different up-bringing than a lot of boys. since before he can actually remember, it's just been his sister and i parenting him. as i've mentioned before, he is a very sweet, sensitve guy, but somehow inherently he is all rough and tumble on the outside. he has tackled his sister at the knees and taken her to the ground and kicks the tar out of kids on the soccer field...and sleeps with a bunny named cotton.
when we decided he was ready to potty train, we started off teaching him to sit when he pees. i actually have taught a bazillion boys to do it this way in the years i directed preschools. first sitting the right way, then sitting backwards for the aiming practice then at some point they just start standing up. so dom was in the sitting forward stage, and being rather resistant on using the potty every time. it was horribly frustrating to me, as at daycare, they had no trouble with him, and at home he was just lazy about it. so i always made him sleep in a diaper or a pull-up, just for saftey's sake.
one morning my three year wonder plods into the bathroom, growly because i made him use the bathroom before he was fully awake. i whip off the diaper and am completely astonished that it is DRY. i turn him around and try to plop him down. "GO" i say. he scowls at me and turns around and states "I PEE STANDING UP." "since when," i say, "now go".
dominic shoots me the hairy eyeball, puts both hands behind his back and firehoses into the toilet. doesn't drip a drop anywhere. then when he's done, smirks at me and shakes his little butt...all still without touching it-keeps his hands behind his back until he goes to flush, and then says in three year old smugness...
"see, I TOLD YOU SO."
when we decided he was ready to potty train, we started off teaching him to sit when he pees. i actually have taught a bazillion boys to do it this way in the years i directed preschools. first sitting the right way, then sitting backwards for the aiming practice then at some point they just start standing up. so dom was in the sitting forward stage, and being rather resistant on using the potty every time. it was horribly frustrating to me, as at daycare, they had no trouble with him, and at home he was just lazy about it. so i always made him sleep in a diaper or a pull-up, just for saftey's sake.
one morning my three year wonder plods into the bathroom, growly because i made him use the bathroom before he was fully awake. i whip off the diaper and am completely astonished that it is DRY. i turn him around and try to plop him down. "GO" i say. he scowls at me and turns around and states "I PEE STANDING UP." "since when," i say, "now go".
dominic shoots me the hairy eyeball, puts both hands behind his back and firehoses into the toilet. doesn't drip a drop anywhere. then when he's done, smirks at me and shakes his little butt...all still without touching it-keeps his hands behind his back until he goes to flush, and then says in three year old smugness...
"see, I TOLD YOU SO."
Thursday, April 7, 2011
hail mary, full of grace...
i was raised catholic. i have been to enough masses to save several souls, even of my calibur.
now, the catholic religion itself has never sat very well with me, and i'll get into that at some point. however, i do believe that all children need to be raised with a good, stable faith base. no matter what faith you choose, there should be somewhere that you can jump off when you reach the age to make your own decision. so, my kids are starting off catholic, regardless of my current positioning on the church. fortunately, my mother is heading up this upbringing, as i really am nowhere fit in this area, and i currently do not havea church i attend. she takes him to our home town an hour and a half away several weekends and a couple weeknites to have him participate in classes.
lil man has been going thru the first communion training process this year, which includes first confession. you learn a prayer for this and then are expected, at eight, to confess your immortal sins. he was to do this last night, and mom was picking him up after school so the morning was the last i'd see him until after he'd poured out his soul, literally. as i helped him dress, i explained that he had church clothes in his backpack, and asked him if he was excited.
"i'm anxious." (i love that he is learning new words and is trying to incorporate them into everyday life, to sound like his sister and me. "Why are you anxious bud? you've been practicing your prayers. you'll do fine."
"i'm nervous that i'll make a mistake and God won't forgive me."
awwwww...poor pickle. "oh huny," i say with a big smile, "all God cares about is that you are truly sorry and will try your hardest to make up for your sins." (see, i got this. i may not practice anymore, but i remember the schpeel.)
"but what if the priest tells everyone and they think i'm bad?"
"oh huny it's like a doctor. it's his job to keep the information you give him private. between you, him and God."
"but what if he thinks i'm bad. then God won't forgive me."
interesting. "ummm huny, what are you going to tell him?" at this point i'm somewhat concerned.
"well sometimes," he said with his chin nearly touching his chest in shame, "when i say 'huh' and you think i don't hear you, i do. i just don't feel like listening."
i had to stiffle my laugh. big sins this one has. "Well huny, i suppose you'll have to say some hail mary's to make it up to God and me."
now, the catholic religion itself has never sat very well with me, and i'll get into that at some point. however, i do believe that all children need to be raised with a good, stable faith base. no matter what faith you choose, there should be somewhere that you can jump off when you reach the age to make your own decision. so, my kids are starting off catholic, regardless of my current positioning on the church. fortunately, my mother is heading up this upbringing, as i really am nowhere fit in this area, and i currently do not havea church i attend. she takes him to our home town an hour and a half away several weekends and a couple weeknites to have him participate in classes.
lil man has been going thru the first communion training process this year, which includes first confession. you learn a prayer for this and then are expected, at eight, to confess your immortal sins. he was to do this last night, and mom was picking him up after school so the morning was the last i'd see him until after he'd poured out his soul, literally. as i helped him dress, i explained that he had church clothes in his backpack, and asked him if he was excited.
"i'm anxious." (i love that he is learning new words and is trying to incorporate them into everyday life, to sound like his sister and me. "Why are you anxious bud? you've been practicing your prayers. you'll do fine."
"i'm nervous that i'll make a mistake and God won't forgive me."
awwwww...poor pickle. "oh huny," i say with a big smile, "all God cares about is that you are truly sorry and will try your hardest to make up for your sins." (see, i got this. i may not practice anymore, but i remember the schpeel.)
"but what if the priest tells everyone and they think i'm bad?"
"oh huny it's like a doctor. it's his job to keep the information you give him private. between you, him and God."
"but what if he thinks i'm bad. then God won't forgive me."
interesting. "ummm huny, what are you going to tell him?" at this point i'm somewhat concerned.
"well sometimes," he said with his chin nearly touching his chest in shame, "when i say 'huh' and you think i don't hear you, i do. i just don't feel like listening."
i had to stiffle my laugh. big sins this one has. "Well huny, i suppose you'll have to say some hail mary's to make it up to God and me."
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