so, obviously i've been on some sort of hiatus. you can read that as "my lame ass gave up on blogging for a while". i don't know why. things have been hectic, but that's not new. it was suggested to me that i'm happier when i'm writing, which is true. and then, twice in three days, i was told, unsolicited in conversation, mind you, that i am an excellent writer. that i could make a living doing this. i have never been more flattered!
i have SO MANY tales to regale-life has been an epic whirlwind this year. however, since i have been such a derlict lately, i figure it is going to take a whamo of a blog to suck some of you back in. so i shall pull from the depths, one of my favorites, involving some of my favorite people...the early childhood education folks. :)
in 2001 i was set to turn thrity, which for me was a no big deal birthday. the day before, i started a new job. in my former life, i was a very successful early childhood education director. i also, was known for being a bit of a hatchetman. a lot of facilities had hired me to come in and "clean up" their programming and staff-i was renouned for quality program and the ability to turn profit in even the shoddiest of care programs. my reputation preceeded me and any time i was hired on, staff members knew change was in the air. that reputation included being a hard-ass, but also being a consistent and fair boss, with a great sense of decency...and a twisted sense of humor.
now, i was absolutely floored when i arrived on my second day and my office was decorated and the whole center was wishing me happiness. apparently the owners had leaked to everyone so that i would feel loved. it probably was in the top two birthdays i've had as an adult-the other being the grand pink spectacular last year. i was just completely enamoured with the thought that these teachers gave their all to me without knowing me...and knowing my reputation and what i was really there for.
so the birthday was awesome and got me started off with a different respect for this new staff. although i swept broad and fast on changes, the ebb and flow was smoother than usual, and much easier than i expected. it was a different environment quickly, not to mention that after briefly reinterviewing for their positions, there were several teachers i could tell were keepers.
so maybe in my third week, two of those gals that i had mentally tapped as future leaders/supervisors came to my office and asked if i had a minute. one who would become one of my most favorites ever, cady, was holding a dora backpack. i was working on the badly neglected food program and really welcomed the break, so i shuffled them in. cady begins telling me about the two year old room's show and share time-their process was that all the kiddos would grab their pack and dump the share items they had brought from home in the middle of the circle, then each child would be called to retrieve his or her item and talk about it. cady tells me how today only about half the kids have stuff, and the pile wasn't very large. a wee one named lara dumped her baggie and cady and her co-teacher weren't quite sure how to handle the contents.
i'm listening to all this intently, as this is the first time any of the staff had approached me to handle a classroom problem. all the other times, changes or issues had been intiated by me. so when cady says "i just do not know what should be done about this", i smile and say "so what did lara bring?"
cady unzips the dora pack and turns it upside down on my desk. out rolls the biggest, purplest dildo i have ever seen in my life. not only does it start buzzing when it hits the desk, but presumes to switch it self automatically to different speeds, quivering itself across my state-funded program paperwork.
i simply sit back in my chair, look at cady and say that i'll call the parents and handle it. cady said something like "how do i even give this back to her mom?" and i smile and reassure her that i've got it covered and just to go back to her class. cady thanks me and trots out of my office. and i sit back again, then stand to capture it with the dora pack.
suddenly, i hear uproarious laughter outside my door. cady and a few other teachers are standing there gasping for air. a couple of them say how they can't believe how calm i was and straight faced. cady is dying-the gag was all her idea and very carefully planned out. she said they could possibly believe that i was as cool and collected as they'd heard, and that she was impressed. and at that point i completely lost it and it took me a while to stop laughing. "hey," i said, " you never know what some kid is going to fish out of their hidey hole to bring to show and share. gotta be prepared."
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